as you know, we have been waiting to see the heartbeat of our 10 week old baby. today was our third visit in 3 weeks. while we have been through a range of emotions and thoughts over the last 3 weeks, the overwhelming feeling is that it is completely and totally in God's hands and that he knows what is best. today we were told that there is no chance of completing this pregnancy and that it would end within the next few weeks. we had hoped against reason that this wouldn't be the outcome. i have chosen not to have any medical intervention, but just to wait it out. the thing that i am working through now is changing my mind over to face the loss. i had spent some time thinking about names for this baby...and the one that stands out to me is thaddeus...which means "heart". so, i am starting to say good-bye to our baby, thaddeus...something that i never even had a thought of doing only 4 short weeks ago. we ask for your continued prayers as these days pass. we hope that the process will be soon and short.one interesting thing that happened a few weeks ago seems worth sharing. we had told adin and toby about the baby...adin knew the drill...toby not so much. so when they pray at night, they say "God bless..." (mommy, daddy, etc)...and they had added the baby in with the list. but for about 2 weeks, toby would bless the whole family, including grandma bricker...who passed away earlier this year...and the baby. then when he finished praying he would say "grandma is holding the baby". we didn't pay much attention to this because it seemed weird for him to say...but we believe that he was telling us something that we didn't know. we do believe that thaddeus is in Heaven now and we will look forward to meeting him when we get there. until then, i am certain that grandma bricker is holding him for us.
the prayer that we pray for adin and toby each night is this:
The Aaronic Blessing (Numbers 6:24–26, NIV)
The Lord bless you
and keep you;
the Lord make His face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn His face toward you
and give you peace.
we pray this for Thaddeus Aaron Smith today as we release him to Jesus. God bless you baby.
I'm so sorry for the loss of Thaddeus. I don't know what to say except I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. You might want to read my friend Wendi's blog off my site - she went through something similar and talked about all that she went through. My heart aches for you guys.
ReplyDeleteI am so sad for all of you. I was really praying for different news, but the Lord had other plans for Thaddeus. Please, do not hesitate to let me know if and when you need me to watch Adin and Toby so you can have time to grieve and rest. We have been through this and know the emotional roller coaster it can be. Call when you are ready to talk.
ReplyDeleteVery sorry to hear.... how very sweet to know Grandma has him in her arms. I hope you are doing ok, call me when you want to talk. Ronita
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping and praying that with the grief that surrounds you today that you will seek rest and peace from Christ. I never know the right things to say in situations like this. Just know I'm thinking about you, and will continue to pray especially in the next couple of weeks. I've had so many questions I want to raise to God these past few days...and yet I trust he is in control and is faithful. My heart goes out to you tonight. Let me know if you need anything.
ReplyDeleteJust want you to know that we're thinking of you and praying you through all this...We can talk, just let me know when you're ready.
ReplyDeletelove ya!
Meg.
My heart breaks for you right now.
ReplyDeleteThinking of your family right now during this hard time.
I am so sorry that you will have to go through this. At the Women of Faith conference that I just went to I just heard something and it has gotten me through every day, I hope it helps,"God has not forgotten you."
ReplyDeletePraying for you and your family in your time of loss.
Oh Annette, I think about you every moment. I pray that God will send you peace and strength. There are no words that anyone can speak that will take away the pain, but I want you to know that I am praying that God will take away the pain for you. PLease know I am here for you anytime you need me.
ReplyDeleteCala
My heart is aching for you right now. I pray that you find comfort in Christ. I know it helped me to try to find strength in knowing that through everything God is in control. I'd be happy to have the boys over to allow you some time.
ReplyDeleteLori
I wanted to write wed. night, but was thinking of something to say, and realized there really isn't anything except that we are praying for you and am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I'm so glad you guys named your baby. There is some joy in that and your story about your little guy saying Grandma is holding your baby, just was amazing. I believe kids have a special Heavenly knowing at times. Pretty cool. We love ya and will continue to pray for you. I'm glad you guys were able to get away to Baltimore for some fun. It's amazing to think what plans and purpose God has for Thaddeus in Heaven and the impact he's already made here to you and others. In God's Love, Melissa McFeaters
ReplyDeleteI came over to thank you for listing me on your blog- many, many thanks :)
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing to me how my little "freebie" site has connected me with so many other Christian women. Some you are going through great times in their life and some who are really struggling.
I think it is really awesome to be able to share our lives with those we know and don't know- because we never really know what impact God will let us have on others.
Just wanted to let you know it is ok to grieve in whatever way you need to. And if you need to be mad at God- that's ok, too- He's big enough to handle it- he knows you still love Him.
Again- thanks for listing me; it gave me the opportunity to share in your life.